


The Princes' Shield Maiden

by MaggiesAngel



Category: Loki - Fandom, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Celebrations, Drinking, F/M, Forgiveness, Guilt, Kissing, Loss of Virginity, Love, Rape Aftermath, Sex, Talk of Rape, Vaginal Fingering, fluffy loki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-10-17 08:19:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10590099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaggiesAngel/pseuds/MaggiesAngel
Summary: After a drunken misunderstanding with a long-time friend, Kari leaves the palace in quest of solitude all the while doing her duty. Instead, while trying to help, the trouble that nearly costs her her life.Can the brave shield maiden let the past rest to move forward and find her way back to her friend?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Kari (KAH-ree) - means pure

The battle had lasted two days; but in the end, as always, they had been victorious. Once returning to Asgard, the warriors had bathed, changed into celebratory clothing, and the feasts had begun.

As had become custom after a particularly satisfying battle, Thor, Loki, Sif, the Warriors Three, and Kari carried on their celebrations into one of their favourite taverns. There, the drinking and storytelling continued long into the night. Kari kept eyeing Loki, whom she noticed was returning the gesture, as she drank her mead. She had waited long enough for him to make his move; tonight, she would make her own. Most of the others had taken to their own tables, still telling tales with crowds gathered around them, or had gone back to the palace to find their beds.

Finishing her drink, Kari stood, walked over to Loki, and took his hand, pulling him behind her as she made her way to the stairs which led to the upper level. She laughed as she rushed them through one of the doors upstairs, locking it quickly behind them and pressing Loki against it. Kari gripped his hair and pulled him for a kiss, earning a growl as his tongue pressed between her lips. Jumping, she wrapped her legs around his hips, grinning as he quickly supported her weight, pulling back to laugh and lick along her neck.

“Eager are we, my beautiful shield maiden?” he asked, nipping at her skin.

Rubbing her core against his, where she could feel his erection through their clothing, Kari’s laugh turned into a groan. “I’ve been wanting this for ages, Loki,” she replied, her own hands reaching up to pull her tunic over her head. “Thank the Norns the celebration drinks were here tonight!”

A low rumble sounded in his chest as her breasts were bare to him. He dipped down to kiss the necklace she always wore, then suckled one of her nipples into his mouth. He walked them over to the bed and tumbled them onto it, breaking contact with her briefly so he could peel off his own tunic, then dropped back to lavish attention on her.

Kari’s back arched, encouraging him as mewling sounds crawled from her throat. His fingers worked the laces of her leather trousers while he licked a wet line along her waist. Raising her hips, she reached down and helped him shove them down, off her body, then she reached for him again, trying to pull Loki on top of her.

“Oh no, little one,” he whispered, kissing and licking down her hipbone. “Not yet.”

Grinning at the nickname he and his brother used for her, Kari could not help but arch towards him as he ran the flat of his tongue up her slit. The stuttering gasp that was drawn from her throat made Loki purr against her and spread her thighs wider.

“You taste like the sweetest of nectars,” he murmured before his tongue delved farther inside, looking for more of her flavour.

Kari tried to lift her hips, but Loki’s hands clamped onto her thighs to hold her in place, her own fingers lacing into his hair to pull him closer. She felt him growl against her bundle of nerves as he locked on and sucked, making her shudder.

Wrapping one of his forearms over her hips, Loki brought his other hand down, running his fingers along her folds, his tongue keeping her on edge. But when he slid his finger inside her tight sheath, he froze when he met resistance. “Kari…”

Panting above him, she moaned at the feeling of his fingers filling her, trying to grind down against his hand, but he stopped her, his mouth drawing away. Looking down, Kari could see the look of surprise on his face, and she shook her head. “What’s wrong?”

Pulling his fingers gently from her, Loki shook his head. “I won’t do this, little one,” he murmured.

“ _What_?” she asked, shocked. “Why?”

“You’re untouched, Kari,” he replied, surprised at her response. Crawling up her trembling body, Loki stroked her face with his clean hand as he shook his head at her and kissed her lips softly. “Your first time is not going to be a quick tumble in a tavern; not like this”

“That’s _my_ choice to make, Loki, not yours.” Kari felt her face burning with embarrassment. Pushing him off her body, she turned to reach for her clothes but felt Loki try to settle her back to cuddle.

“Little one, please,” he said gently. “Stay.”

Shaking her head, Kari clenched her jaw, wanting as far away from him and his rejection of her body as possible. “Let me go, Loki. _Right now_.”

His arms released her, and Kari dressed with her back to him, leaving the room without a look back. At the bottom of the stairs, she stopped to re-braid her long raven hair, then entered the main room; only Thor remained of their original group.

He glanced up when she arrived, a small frown crossing his face at the scarlet blush on her cheeks. Before he could ask any questions, Kari walked over to him, downed his drink, and offered the empty stein back to him. “I’m headed back,” she replied, voice dark.

“You shouldn’t walk alone, little one,” Thor said with concern.

“ _Don’t_ … Don’t call me that,” she replied, throat tight. “And believe me, I’ll gladly spill blood this night.”

Thor watched in confusion as Kari left without another word. It was then he noticed movement on the other side of the tavern; his brother slowly entering the room. Raising his brow, he said, “It’s not like you to leave a woman so unsatisfied, brother.”

Loki sighed and motioned for another drink as he sank into the chair next to him. “It’s also not like someone to come to my bed…untouched.”

Thor stiffened. “You didn’t…”

“Of course, not!” he replied indignantly. “I told her, her first time would not be a quick tumble in a tavern…”

“Which is why she left so infuriated,” Thor finished with a sigh. “Let her calm herself, speak with her tomorrow during sparring practice.”

Nodding, Loki took a long drink of his ale when it arrived, grimacing when he thought of how things had been left.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Kari left before dawn the next morning; she had gone to Odin with the idea of riding out to the further-reaching villages and checking-in on them. He had seemed surprised she had come to him rather than his sons, but approved. Odin’s only stipulation; she take along her wolf, Ember, if she insisted on riding alone.

[ ](http://s1293.photobucket.com/user/Maeghan_Sullivan/media/d8d160f59208759f9cfdedc75aa07b88_zpsywijp74q.jpg.html)

That was why the silver and white beast was trotting alongside her black stallion on the snowy trail. Sleep had eluded her, and after a hot bath, Kari had sought Odin out, eager to escape before she had to face the brothers, her friends, in the light of day.

She had been on the trail for hours, enjoying the solitude and quiet, focussing on her own breathing and that of the animals. Kari stopped for lunch, sending Ember off on her own hunt and scouting expedition; she knew the she-wolf would come back eventually and was not worried about when.

After eating her fill and allowing the horse to graze happily, she doused the flames of the small fire. She had just pulled herself back onto her mount when she heard a woman’s cry of pain. Kari urged Thunder after the noise, drawing her sword. Two young women were being dragged by four men through the snow, begging and pleading. Swinging quickly to the ground, Kari demanded the women be set free.

The men laughed. “They’re coming with us. You can leave, or we can kill you. Matters little to us.”

“I am one of Odin’s Shield Maidens, and you will hand over the girls to me,” Kari ordered.

The leader stepped closer. He was larger, nearly as big as Thor, but Kari was used to men trying to use their size to try and intimidate her. She spun her leg up and around, kicking him in the face hard enough to split his lip and send him stumbling back several steps, falling back into a defensive stance herself.

The man wiped blood as he stared at her with a murderous gaze. “I will kill you for that,” he growled. “It’s bad enough one of these two is ruined, and now this!” He fumed, wiping more blood from his face.

What he had just revealed about the girls gave Kari an idea. She thought quickly, then said, “I’ll make you an offer.”

“You have nothing we want more than these delectable morsels,” one of the men sneered.

But Kari could tell she had the leader’s interest. His eyes narrowed as he asked, “What offer?”

“You can have me,” she replied. She was proud her voice was steady because her stomach was clenched in fear. “You said yourself you’re disappointed that one of the girls has been tested. I haven’t.” Kari swallowed when she saw the man’s eyes widen, and she continued. “The girls go free, and you get one of the shield maidens of the Asgard. What say you?”

“Unarmed,” he sneered. “The horse and your weapons stay here.”

Nodding, Kari unhooked her blades, leaving them on her saddle, and keeping the reins in hand. “I’ll send them with the girls,” she agreed. The men agreed, shoving the girls forward. Kari pulled off her necklace as unobtrusively as she could, giving it and the reins to the girl who was crying the least. “Listen to me: you need to go to the palace, show them this necklace. Tell them you need to see the Princes, Thor or Loki, and give them the necklace. Tell them what’s happened. Do you understand?”

The girl nodded as Kari helped them on the stallion’s back. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“Just do as I’ve asked, and no apologies needed,” Kari replied. Moving to Thunder’s head, she touched his nose. “Go home, quickly.”

As the horse disappeared down the path, the girls riding proficiently, Kari turned back to the men who looked at her darkly. She knew what was to happen, and Kari knew if she was to survive, she needed to keep her head and wait for one of them to make a mistake.

Walking towards the well-armed men, she discounted two of them as being the ones to make mistakes; one was the leader, his eyes held an intelligence, the other looked dangerous, and was likely to kill her on a whim. That man grabbed her arm to steer her as they walked. Of the remaining two, one was meatier, and already smelled of alcohol; Kari was counting on him to make a mistake, as the fourth was harder to get a read on.

They reached a cabin after a short walk, though Kari could see it was clearly abandoned; broken windows, the wood covered in moss. As soon as the door opened, she found herself thrown inside to her knees, but the leader’s hand was soon wrapped around her throat as he dragged her to her feet as he shoved her against a wall.

“An untried shield maiden? Oh, the fantasies I’ve had of this,” he said against her mouth as his other hand ripped at her clothing.

Kari struggled, and he brought her over and down on her back on a table, slamming her head against the wood, bringing a fist down across her cheekbone. The grip on her throat tightened until she was gasping for air, the punch leaving her dazed, and she stopped struggling; conserving her energy until she could fight.

The men took their turns, and during the drunken lout’s second time, he turned Kari on her back on the table, laying his seax on the table near her head as he bent over her, breathing heavily on her neck. Kari watched him carefully, and when he stood up during his thrusting, closing his eyes and nearing his end, she reached a hand up to grab the dagger. He paid no attention, Kari noticed, and she quickly plunged it into his neck.

[](http://s1293.photobucket.com/user/Maeghan_Sullivan/media/stagpoint%20seax_zps1dumwyqg.jpg.html)

No sounds could escape him. Kari was used to being underestimated in hand to hand combat and had made this strike before, though not usually when the man had been looming over her. She had severed his carotid artery and jugular; soft gurgles came from his mouth as his hot blood splashed down and covered her upper body.

Using a hand to wipe her eyes clear, Kari glanced to the trio in the corner who were sharing a drink, taking a break, to make certain they were unaware; they had noticed nothing amiss. She grabbed the drunk’s clothes and slid him silently to the floor, before creeping soundlessly along the wall.

The dangerous one had his back to her; Kari had learned he was violent and liked to use his blade in the time he had spent with her body, and had lost the blood to prove it. The seax in her hand was sharp, and in creeping up behind him in the shadows, she was able to slice his throat, nearly decapitating him before any of the men knew what was happening.

Kari heard yells of surprise as the two remaining men were sprayed with blood when his body fell to the floor, and they saw her; naked, bleeding herself, and covered in the dead man’s blood. She watched the realization hit; she had already killed their two other comrades, even in her wounded and vulnerable state.

“You truly thought you could get away with what you had done to me, and suffer no consequences?” Kari asked, her voice a soft whisper. She bent and took the sword from the dead man in front of her, her eyes never leaving them. “You said yourself, I am a shield maiden of Asgard. I have won battles that you would have run from, crying like an infant. And you thought the atrocities you have wrought on my body, would have left me weak and unable to fight back?”

“You stopped fighting,” the leader growled at her, gripping his own sword. “We beat you nearly unconscious and used every hole you had like a whore.”

“I conserved my strength so I might kill you when the opportunity arose,” Kari replied. “And now, here we are. I’ve killed two of your men with merely a seax, and no armour. How do you think the two of you will fare against me, now that I have a sword?”

 


	3. Chapter 3

“What do you mean, she’s  _ gone _ ?” Loki demanded.

Thor sighed, shaking his head as he thought back to his conversation with his father that morning. “It seems Kari approached Father first thing this morning, before dawn. She has taken Ember, and left on a scouting mission.”

Gritting his teeth, Loki growled. “For how long?”

“That, I do not know,” Thor replied. Patting his brother on the shoulder, he said, “Come on, let’s get the others and spar. You need to work off some of that energy.”

It was hours later, in the arena, when practice was disturbed by the sounds of a young woman yelling. The friends broke apart, the princes walking up the stairs to see if they could find out the cause, when a young woman ran closer, a stable hand and guard close behind.

“I need to find the Princes! That’s what she told me!  _ Please _ !” the girl was saying frantically.

Raising a hand to the guard, Thor caught the girl’s attention, saying, “You’ve found them. Now, who told you this?”

“I don’t know her name,” she replied, wiping at her cheeks. “She saved my sister and me from a group of men. They wanted to… They were going to take us, then sell us as slaves. She traded herself to them for our freedom. She said she was a shield maiden of Asgard, and she gave me this.” The girl held out the necklace to Thor before she continued. “And told me to come to the palace, and find the Princes, and tell them what had happened.”

[ ](http://s1293.photobucket.com/user/Maeghan_Sullivan/media/norse-amulet-silver_zpsonuvrfsy.jpg.html)

“By the Norns, Kari,” Thor growled, taking the amulet from her gently.

“They returned on her horse, my Lord,” the stable hand added in.

“No sign of Ember?” Loki asked darkly.

The stable hand shook his head. “No, but the Lady’s weapons were attached to the saddle.”

“It was part of the deal she made,” the girl explained. “He said she had to be unarmed.”

“Loki, summon Fenrir,” Thor ordered. Turning to the stable hand, he said, “Ready our mounts. We’ll be leaving immediately.” Turning to the guard, who was still with the girl, his face softened. “Do you have a home?”

“Yes, Sire.”

“Then you will be safely returned to it, you and your sister both,” he assured, glancing up at the guard, who nodded in understanding.

Fandral cleared his throat as the group moved towards the stables. “If I’m to understand, Kari traded her body to save those young girls?”

“And left herself unarmed with them?” Sif added in.

“It appears that way,” Thor agreed, glancing at his brother.

Loki’s jaw was tight; only they knew she had never been with a man, and she had traded herself anyway. Neither were surprised, but both knew they had no idea in what condition Kari would be in when they arrived.

“Fenrir will be the fastest at tracking her,” Thor said, twisting his mouth. “It appears she even went a little further to ensure it.”

“What do you mean?” Loki asked, reaching for the necklace, then he saw it too; there was blood on the chain. Kari had nicked herself before giving it to the women, or at least it appeared that way. “The girl had no cuts on her hand?”

Thor shook his head as the group walked quickly towards the stable, Volstagg and Hogun joining them after loading bags of supplies. “It’s why I took the necklace as gently as I did, I wanted to make certain. Kari must have been subtle, not wanting to frighten her,” Thor guessed.

The large black wolf appeared at the edge of the stable. Loki approached with the amulet, but as soon as Fenrir caught the scent of Kari’s blood, the animal became agitated. Nodding, Loki touched his head. “We need to find her, quickly,” he said softly.

[ ](http://s1293.photobucket.com/user/Maeghan_Sullivan/media/black-wolf-dominant_zpshrriojyq.jpg.html)

Fenrir took off at a ground-eating gallop, Loki swinging up into his saddle as he and the others followed the wolf.

They had been riding for only an hour when the group pulled their horses to a stop, watching as Fenrir paused, sniffing and letting out a low bark. They knew there was no immediate danger from his manner, but something was definitely off. When a whimpering-growl answered him just ahead, Loki frowned to see Kari’s wolf, Ember, come out from behind a cluster of trees. The animal’s head was low, and she limped as she moved slowly into their sight.

Dismounting, Loki approached the animal with a hand out, frowning as she whined at him; her bright amber eyes were dulled. Running a hand over her, Loki discovered why she was alone. “She’s wounded,” he called back. Lifting the animal, he carried her back to Hogun, who took her gently. “It looks like she’s taken a blade to the flank, but it could be worse; her eyes are dulled. Take her back.”

Hogun glanced to Thor, who nodded in agreement. Loki pulled himself back into the saddle while the other man slowly returned. Fenrir was already on the move again.

The group did not speak as they rode, conserving their strength for whatever they may find, and Loki lost track of how long they had ridden before Fenrir slowed, his hackles raising, though, this time, he did not stop until the cabin came into view. As they saw the building, the group dismounted, but Thor and Loki glanced at each other as they caught the odour that had alerted the wolf.

“Blood,” Loki murmured, voice soft.

Nodding, Thor could smell it too. From the cabin, the scent radiated of carnage, and he worried of what they would find inside. Motioning to the others to fan out, around the building, he and Loki took the front door, kicking it in, as Fenrir jumped through a broken window.

They paused when they got inside, and stared; Kari sat in the corner, propped up by the walls, her knees drawn to her chest. Her body was caked with blood, most of it dried, though it still trickled from a few wounds, in bright red lines. Her green eyes were wide, though clear, but every inch of skin that was visible was coated; her face looked like a painted mask of red, her hair matted to her body. Kari’s hands still gripped the weapons tightly, the blades crossed over the front of her legs.

Loki looked around; two men’s throats were sliced wide, one near the table, and he imagined that’s where the deaths had started. One, Kari had eviscerated, his entrails spilled across the floor. The last, it appeared, she had taken one blade and shoved it up under his chin, into his skull, the second blade into his groin; it was a bloody mess. He could not help but wonder if those wounds were symbolic to her, and could not blame her if they were. Turning to look at her, Kari met his eyes, as if waiting to see what he thought or waiting for some kind of judgement.

Fenrir had immediately gone to curl up near her when he entered, whining softly, trying to nudge, but uncertain of his welcome as he smelled the fresh blood still coming from her. Kari watched Loki before she turned to the wolf; she let go of the weapons, no longer needing them now. They fell to the floor with loud clangs and she reached out to Fenrir’s head; her fingers had cramped from gripping the hilts for so long, they would not relax enough for her to stroke his fur. Trying to force her hand open forced, a pained sound from her chest.

“Kari?” Thor asked softly, concerned she still had not spoken.

“The girls made it back all right?” she asked in return, looking up at him.

Nodding, he smiled at her. “Perfectly safe,” he assured. “Your message reached us just as you’d planned. We found Ember on the trail. She was injured.”

“I wondered what happened,” Kari murmured. “But I…became distracted.” Movement at the door caught her attention; Kari looked up into the eyes of the others who had finished checking the perimeter. Seeing the shock on their faces at the scene in front of them, she turned back to the blond in front of her as he asked her a question.

“Do you think you can stand, Kari?”

She frowned, thinking about it. “I’m not… I’ve lost a lot of blood,” she admitted.

Loki took off his cloak, saying, “If you use Mjolnir, you can get Kari back to the healing room quickly. We can handle your horse, Thor. There’s no need for her to endure the ride home.”

Nodding, Thor’s eyes never left her, asking, “Do you think you can take the flight if you’re holding me, one of my arms around you?”

Meeting his eyes, Kari blinked. “I suppose we’ll find out. But, I’ll need help putting on the cloak.”

Sif quickly came forward, taking the fabric from Loki, helping her to her feet and wrapping it around her shoulders. When fresh blood appeared on her abdomen and thighs, Sif glanced at the others as she secured the cloak, saying, “We’ll need to carry you outside, Kari. Do you have a preference who?”

Her head started to fall forward, her strength waning. Kari blinked awake outside, unaware she had fallen unconscious and found herself in Sif’s arms. The fresh air, free of death was welcome, but the air was colder, and she started to shiver.

“Thor,” Loki observed, glancing at the woman in Sif’s arms.

Nodding, he took off his own cloak and wrapped it around her as well. Though Thor knew the shuddering was from more than the temperature, he knew flying was not going to help, as he gathered her into his arm. “I will see you all on your return,” he said, before he began swinging Mjolnir, and took to the air.

Turning back to the cabin, Volstagg frowned. “Do we burn it?”

“They don’t deserve the honour,” Fandral scowled.

“I say we leave it for the animals, let them be carrion,” Sif suggested, glancing between the men.

“I agree,” Loki growled. “Fenrir, care to start?” When the wolf bared his teeth at him angrily, snorting but trotting near him as the group started to depart. The Prince smiled slightly. “Fair enough. Let us return then.”


	4. Chapter 4

Loki quickly went to his chambers and changed his clothes. After the morning of sparring and then searching for Kari, he did not want to visit her in that attire. He bathed, then went in search of Ember, and brought her to his chambers, laying the wolf gently in front of the fire. The she-wolf had never truly trusted him, or so he thought. But the animal allowed him to look after her injuries, of which he found more than the blade wound; giving her something to ease the pain. The wolf had a head wound which worried him, and he took a great deal of time working on it with the Seidr magic and herbs, then sat back with a small frown.

Fenrir nudged her, coming to lay with his head near Ember’s paws. Smiling, Loki touched his head, saying, “Keep an eye on her for me, will you? I need to see her Mistress. Find me if she needs anything.”

The wolf huffed in agreement, making Loki smile slightly; it let him leave with the assurance that if anything happened, Fenrir would seek him out. Making his way quickly to the healing room, it was to find Kari laying on a bed, a glowing field over her. Frowning, he turned to Eir as she approached him. “You put her in stasis?” he asked softly.

“There was much to be done,” the healer replied. “By putting Kari in stasis, it lets her rest comfortably, while her body repairs.”

“How badly was she injured?” Loki asked, his eyes never leaving her body, lying so very still.

Studying him, Eir normally would not have said but knew both the Princes were close with the young woman. “She was beaten rather severely, and we found internal bleeding and bruises on her organs. She lost a great deal of blood, and was stabbed several times…” She stopped when Loki held up his hand, his face pained. “Kari is strong, and she made it back here in time, my Prince. She will recover, but it will take time.”

“May I sit with her?” he asked, finally looking at the healer.

“Of course,” she replied gently.

Pulling a chair to sit next to her bed, he stared at Kari’s face and frowned. “Will she hear me, if I speak to her?”

Eir let out a soft sigh. “That, I cannot answer. Some do. Others, it does not break through the stasis. I simply do not know for certain, my Prince.”

Nodding, Loki thanked her as she left. Turning back to Kari, he frowned when he noticed her grimace slightly, even in stasis. Reaching out, he took her hand inside the field, moving to sit on the edge of the bed.

“I…I don’t know if you can even hear me, little one… Kari,” he corrected; he had heard her demand his brother not call her that in the tavern the night before. Loki’s voice was whisper-soft as he stared at her face. His thumb stroked over her knuckles gently, remembering how she could not relax her grip in the cabin. “I’m caring for Ember; her injuries match one of the weapons I saw in the cabin. I suspect your wolf takes very much after you and tried to save the women as well. In the past, she always seems to have distrusted me because of Fenrir’s scent; however, she’s staying in my room. She’s even allowing Fenrir to stay with her; they seem to be getting along for now.”

Loki licked his lips, frowning as he tried to think of how to say what was on his mind. “Kari, I… I cannot forgive myself,” he whispered. “I should have kept you in that room. I should have explained myself better. If we had been in your room or mine, and if we hadn’t imbibed as much mead as we had… It’s no excuse, but I wasn’t rejecting  _ you _ , Kari. I was saying no to the situation, but not to you, sweetling. And if I had managed to explain myself, then you never would have left. You nearly died, and it would have been my fault…”

His voice choked and Loki ran a hand over his face, glancing back up to her. After a few deep breaths, so his voice would be steady, Loki continued. “I have known for months now how you felt. I should have taken the first steps, and not left it to you in that tavern. I was enjoying our interplay too much to admit, even to myself, that I had developed feelings for you, too. If you hate me when you wake, I could understand it. I hate myself for what’s happened to you.”

He fell silent, staring down at their hands, as he continued to stroke her skin.

Loki stayed the rest of the day, leaving only late in the night when Thor finally came and told him he needed to eat and sleep himself. He returned the next day to see she was still in stasis.

Eir answered the question she saw on his face. “Her body is still healing, my Prince. Kari needs more time in stasis to continue healing,” she explained.

Nodding, he sat with her again, studying her face, and was glad to see the bruises were yellowing from their dark black marks they had been the day before. “Hello, sweetling,” he said softly. “I hope your mind is blank or your dreams are pleasant while you’re in there.”

*****

Kari blinked slowly, taking a deep breath as she glanced around the healing room. Eir stood next to her, a gentle smile on her face. “Any pain, Kari?”

Flexing her muscles slowly, she frowned slightly. “I am stiff, but…no real pain,” she replied softly.

“I’ve kept you in stasis for two days, so if you were still in pain, I’d be concerned. But I wanted to be certain,” Eir replied.

Kari sat up slowly, testing her body. “Am I free to leave? I’d like to bathe.”

Nodding, Eir took her arm and helped her to her feet. “Of course; but I need to tell you, you cannot go back to training with the warriors right away, Kari, because of the blood loss. Come and see me in a few days, and I will reassess you then. If you need anything before that or have any concerns, do not hesitate to come back and see me.”

She began to leave, but stopped, turning back slightly, though her eyes did not meet the other woman’s face. “There is no risk of a child?” she asked, her hoarse voice barely above a whisper.

“No, Kari,” Eir assured firmly. “None at all.”

With a short nod, Kari headed to her room, thankful it was early and she saw no one with it in the halls. Running a hot bath, she added essential oils, stripping out of the robes Eir had dressed her in. She left them in the hamper and sank to her chin in the hot water.

She wanted to relax, but her body ached from lying still for so long and her mind was running circles. Kari dunked under and washed her hair quickly, pinning it on top of her head. She scrubbed her body until her skin was bright pink, the yellowing bruises aching as she ran her hands over them.

Pulling the drain out, she oiled her skin to moisturize it, dressing and combing out her hair while she walked back into the main part of her room to sit in front of the fire that blazed. Her scalp ached from being pulled, torn at, and slammed against the table; Kari braided her hair very loosely over her shoulder. A light knock at her door startled her from her forced blank state, and after swallowing, she gently bade whoever was there to come in.

Upon seeing Frigga entering, followed by a few servants, Kari stood quickly, her eyes widening. “My Queen,” she greeted softly.

Waving the servants over to the table off to the side with their trays, she dismissed them quietly, before turning to the other woman. “Kari,” she greeted kindly, “I know you came here straight from the healing rooms and doubted you would join us in the main hall for food this morning.”

A faint smile ghosted over Kari’s lips as she inclined her head slightly. “I’m afraid that may be true for at least a little while, my Queen.”

“I understand. But please, eat. Let me pour you some tea while you get yourself some food,” Frigga insisted, motioning her forward.

Kari dished up a small plate, then sat smiling as the other woman joined her. They ate in amiable silence. The Queen simply sat and drank her own tea, watching to make certain that the young woman had some food, and a comforting presence.

“I wanted to ask, but am afraid to… Where’s Ember?” Kari’s voice was shaking when she finally looked up to meet the older woman’s gaze.

“She’s all right!” Frigga assured with a smile. “She has been healing in Loki’s room; he’s been caring for her. Your wolf suffered a rather severe blow to the head, but she is just fine now.”

Letting out a relieved breath, Kari nodded.  _ So, I did hear Loki correctly _ , she thought to herself as she sipped her tea.

Frigga wandered quietly, studying the books Kari kept, smiling as she recognized a few titles. She asked, “I have a few others you may like, Kari, since you seem to appreciate these. I could bring them by if you wish?”

“I would, thank you,” she agreed. “But please, don’t feel you need to rush. I’m not certain I’ll be able to sit still and read for a little while.”

Nodding, Frigga smiled as Kari stood and cleared her dish, walking over to cup the shield maiden’s cheek. “Take your time, child. And I am always here if you need me,” the Queen reminded her before leaving.

Kari wandered through the gardens, her arms wrapped around herself inside her cloak. She kept her shoulders straight, fighting to keep from looking like she was huddled in on herself; word had spread of what had happened, she knew. It would have been inevitable.

Her mind kept running over not only what had happened in the cabin, but something from when she was in stasis. Though unconscious, Kari had been aware of her surroundings; she knew Loki had spent nearly all of his time with her while she had been healing, until his brother had dragged him away. Reaching up, she touched her necklace; he had placed back on her after he had it cleaned. She was thankful; the necklace had been a birthday gift from the brothers years ago and she never took it off. Kari knew it was the one sure way to get them to come to her aid. But it wasn’t only that; her mind kept running over his words.

_ I was saying no to the situation, but not to you, sweetling. _ It was a term of endearment he had never used for her before. Swallowing, Kari tried to reason through what he had said to her. Never, in all the years they had known one another, had he ever shown any real interest in her before; it was why she had tried to convince him while they had been drinking. And yet, he had told her if they had been sober…? A frustrated growl crawled from her throat as she fought tears.

Closing her eyes, she fought for composure and gained it, walking farther into the gardens and out to look over the city. Swallowing, she tried to keep her mind blank; succeeding for an hour before a howl drew her attention back behind her. Tuning, it was to see Ember approaching her, the wolf’s head down, her tail tucked under her.

“Oh, you’re not in trouble,” Kari assured, dropping to her knees slowly. She smiled as the animal rushed forward, whining and burying her muzzle against the woman’s stomach. “My poor Ember. Are you alright?” She looked up, checking to see if Loki had followed her; she sensed his magic nearby, had always been able to tell when he was using his cloaks, but decided to ignore him for now.

“I can’t kneel for long, come sit with me,” Kari said, moving to a bench and patting next to her to bring the wolf up next to her. She smiled as Ember nearly crawled into her lap. “Gently, sweetheart.”

Loki watched the reunion from a distance; his mother had told him of Kari’s release from the healing room, and Ember had been restless all morning. Though he knew the likelihood of her seeking him out was slim, a part of him had hoped; when she didn’t, Loki checked Ember again, deemed her well enough to be let outside alone, and followed her, wrapped in a cloak of magic directly to her Mistress.

He knew Kari was aware of him, even if he stayed hidden; she was one of the few who had always been able to see through his tricks. She was ignoring him; Loki was hurt but knew she likely could not face him, especially not after what had happened in the tavern. Though he felt lighter after confession when she had been in stasis, he still felt the need to talk to her now that she was awake.

But Loki would not push Kari. Not until she was ready to talk to him.   
  



	5. Chapter 5

Eating lunch and dinner alone in her rooms, Kari spent the rest of the day walking or sitting in the garden alone, restless. Ember stayed by her side, a constant presence, and she could feel Loki nearby when she was outside.

Night fell, but when she tried to settle into her bed to sleep, Kari closed her eyes only to sit up and gasp as images of the cabin flashed across her eyelids. Ember whined from where she lay next to her and followed when Kari moved quickly to the balcony to stare outside. The young woman’s body ached and her mind was exhausted, but she was afraid to try and sleep; nightmares were not going to let her rest.

Wrapping herself in a robe with a hood, Kari had an idea she hoped she would not regret. Padding silently through a few halls, she ended up at a door and knocked.

Thor was about to turn in for the night when a knock sounded at the door to his chambers. Frowning slightly at how late it was, he moved to answer it. The person on the other side was not who he was expecting. “Kari, is everything alright?” he asked, opening the door and ushering her and her wolf inside.

She walked over to the fire, holding out her hands, unable to face him. “I hope I didn’t wake you, Thor,” she said softly.

Locking the door after it was closed, he studied her closely; Kari’s bruises had yellowed but were still clearly visible if one knew where they were. She seemed to be walking without any pain, thankfully. The woman he had known for a number of years, once playful and bold now seemed nervous and timid. Thor could hardly blame the change in her demeanour at all.

Approaching her cautiously, he knelt and ran a hand over Ember’s silken fur. “She’s healing well,” he commented softly.

“She had a head injury, from what I understand,” Kari agreed. “I’m glad it seems to have been nothing too serious.”

Looking up he met her eyes, his own expression gentle. “What brings you here so late, Kari?” She tried to walk away, but he took her wrist gently, staying on his knees so as not to crowd her, pained that she even flinched at his touch. “Talk to me, little one.”

Fighting the frustrated tears that threatened, she shook her head slightly and looked away from his face. “I cannot sleep,” she replied, voice barely a whisper. “I…I don’t know… You must know what was done to me?”

“I was among the few there when Eir explained, yes,” he confirmed. Standing, Thor transferred his hold on her hand until their fingers were entwined, smiling slightly as she tightened her grip; he used their hands to lead her over to a settee so they could sit. “Not many know the true extent, and I suspect Eir did not reveal precisely everything she found.” Reaching out, he touched her cheek, bringing her gaze back to meet his.

Kari nodded slightly, drawing back her hand and staring down into her lap, her fingers fidgeting there. “I’m finding eating…difficult,” she admitted, swallowing hard. Fighting a derisive snort, she shook her head; the idea of putting anything in her mouth was nauseating but knew she needed food to heal, to survive. Standing, Kari took off her robe, suddenly feeling as if she was suffocating.

Her breathing quickening, she walked quickly to the balcony, opening both doors and standing in the cool air, taking deep, dragging breaths. “When I was in stasis, my mind was blanked; I saw nothing, I dreamt nothing,” she continued when she could talk without choking. “But now… I close my eyes, and all I can see is… _them_. My mind is like a horse running in a field, and I can’t stop it, Thor. I’ve never felt so vulnerable…”

“Vulnerability is never a trait I would attribute to you, Kari,” Thor assured. He watched as she began to shiver, and walked over to carefully close the doors. “What can I do to help?”

Clenching her jaw slightly, she licked her lips before glancing up at his face. “Can I stay here tonight?” she whispered. “I just… I don’t think even Ember can chase away these memories…”

Touching his index finger to her lips lightly, Thor bent and kissed her forehead, then spoke with his lips against her skin. “Of course, you can, Kari.”

The tension she had been holding in her body relaxed, and she leaned her head into his chin. Her skin was cold from standing in the open doorway, so she cuddled into the heat of his chest, smiling slightly when he jumped at her bare arms touching his skin.

“You need to rest,” he murmured, scooping her up. He crawled into the center of his bed, the covers already drawn back, setting Kari down so she was sitting on the mattress. Thor laid back, tucking one arm behind his head, leaving the other on the pillow, and watching her, letting her decide how she wanted to sleep.

Kari wore silken pants and a sleeveless tunic, so felt secure enough, but it was odd to be in bed with Thor. They had slept next to one another while out camping, usually with Sif nearby, and Loki as well, but never something as intimate as this. Meeting his eyes, the endless well of patience in his made her smile slightly at him. She laid down, settling her head on his shoulder. “I almost didn’t come here tonight,” Kari admitted.

“Did you think I would turn you away?” Thor asked, his hand coming up to stroke her raven hair.

Shrugging, she pulled her hands up under her chin. “That, or if you had someone with you.”

Taking his hand from under his head, Thor tapped her nose, grinning when she looked up at him. “For one, I will never deny you if you need me, Kari. I never have, neither has my brother, and we never will,” he explained patiently. “And for another, no matter how much it would disappoint the fair lady if I did have someone else here, your need of support would come first. Do you understand?”

Though she stiffened at the mention of Loki, she nodded in response, unable to form any words past the lump in her throat.

“Good. Now, get some sleep, little one,” he instructed, kissing the top of her head as he pulled up the blankets. “You need your rest.”

It felt so strange to be cuddled up with a man, and Kari never expected this to be how she would first spend a night in a man’s arms… Closing her eyes, she pushed the thought away and let Thor pull her in tighter against him. The exhaustion of the day quickly sucked her under.

*****

Kari rolled over slightly, stretching as she found the rest of the bed empty. Her face flushed as she recalled waking several times during the night; each time hyperventilating and striking out. Thor had been patient, his voice gentle while he had calmed her, held her tight against his body as she had shuddered.

Licking her lips, she noticed the sun was not very high and was idly wondering if he had gone to breakfast when Kari noticed Thor closing the main door to his chambers, bringing back trays of food. Her eyes widening, she whispered, “So the servants know I am here?”

Shaking his head at the horror in her voice, he sighed. “No, Kari. It was Mother,” he replied.

The flush that had been dying, flared brighter. Of course, Frigga would know; her connection to the Seidr stronger than anyone Kari had ever met. “Oh,” was all she could respond.

“She wanted to know if you were alright, and brought breakfast,” he explained, coming to sit on the bed with the large tray, pouring them each a mug of tea. Adding honey to hers, Thor offered it to Kari with a smile. “She had a feeling you would not feel up to joining everyone in the large hall yet.”

Nodding, she took a mouthful of the hot liquid, letting it warm her while she wondered what herbs Frigga might have added to the tea. She settled the blankets around her waist. “She joined me for breakfast yesterday as well,” Kari said with a small grin. “Your mother is very kind.”

“She’s always had a soft spot for you,” Thor agreed, his smile flashing teeth as he picked at the food, laughing as she looked up at him in surprise. “Come now, Kari; have you never noticed?”

“Frigga has always been kind to your friends, Thor,” she argued. “She treats me no differently than any of the others.”

Shaking his head at her, Thor reached over to tuck her hair behind her ear, but before he could speak, she noticed scratches on his forearms. Setting down her mug, she took his arm, her eyes wide, asking, “Did I do these?” When he shrugged absently, Kari touched them delicately. “I’m so sorry.”

“You’ve done far more damage to me in the practice ring when we were sparring than these small marks, little one,” he assured, grinning slightly. Touching her chin, he pulled her gaze up to meet his own, smoothing his fingers over the lines on her forehead. “They don’t hurt, Kari, I promise you. Now, you need some breakfast.” He watched her grimace slightly but picked at the fruit and meats his mother had brought them. “What plans do you have today?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I wandered the gardens yesterday, but…”

“You became bored,” he guessed. When she nodded, he echoed the move. “When can you re-join us in the practice ring?”

Shrugging, Kari nibbled on some hard cheese before going back to her tea. “I see Eir tomorrow for her to check my progress. She was concerned due to the blood loss I suffered.”

“Why not come and join us today?” Thor asked, popping a piece of fruit into his mouth. He stood, going to rifle through his clothes. “I know the Warriors Three and Sif have been concerned and would appreciate seeing you. You could come and watch, try to distract Volstagg and Fandral to give me an advantage while we spar?” he suggested.

Kari finished her tea and walked back over to where she had abandoned her robe the night before, wrapping herself and pulling up the hood. She knew watching the others practice would be far more entertaining than how she had spent her previous day, but her stomach knotted; her group of friends had seen her in the cabin.

“Think on it, little one,” he insisted softly.

“I will,” she agreed. “But I should go; enough people are going to see me leaving here as is, and I’m already the subject of enough gossip considering…everything.”

Before he could protest, Kari slipped out of his room and quickly made her way to her own. She drew a hot bath with oils, adding bubbles this time, smiling as the foam covered the water. Glancing down at Ember, who had followed her and was watching her climb into the steaming water, she smiled. “You should go get some food of your own,” Kari said softly, laughing as the wolf came to nose at the bubbles. “No, you silly thing. You don’t need to join me!”

She barely got the words out of her mouth that Ember had jumped into the bath with her. Kari squealed in laughter, drawing her legs up, the soapy water splashing everywhere as the wolf snapped at the bubbles. Kari was glad the tub was oversized, she was not over-crowded, but Ember was not sitting still as the animal continued to play.

“Ember! Ember, enough!” she was crying out; her laughter making her orders less firm than she would like.

Giving up, Kari got out and wrapped in a towel; there was water everywhere. Sighing, she braided her soaking wet hair, dried herself and dressed, ignoring the splashing animal, before calling her. “C’mon you, I need to get you outside to burn off that energy!”

Running a towel over Ember enough so she wasn’t dripping, Kari tossed everything in a hamper to be washed, as a servant came in. When the girl caught sight of how wet the animal was, Kari explained, “She decided to join me in the bath; I’m afraid she left a mess.”

The girl giggled and bowed. “Not a problem, my Lady,” she assured.

“Come, Ember,” Kari called. “Let’s get you outside to dry!”

Leading the way to the training rings, Kari slowed when she hear the others practicing, but a growl made her turn; Fenrir stood a few feet away, head lowered and studying her. Crouching on one knee, Kari offered the black wolf a small grin. “Hello, Fenrir.” She laughed when he rushed forward to cuddle against her excitedly. “Yes, I’m glad to see you too!”

She looked up while Ember scampered off quickly, and watched as she greeted Loki happily. Pushing to her feet, Kari kept a hand on Fenrir but nodded in greeting to the raven-haired Prince.

Before she could speak, however, he was laughing, exclaiming, “Why are you sopping wet?!” to the silver wolf at his feet.

Chuckling slightly, Kari tucked her hair behind her ear as she said, “That is actually a little bit your fault.”

“ _Mine_ ?” Loki replied incredulously. He could smell the bubble bath he had given her as a gift on the wolf’s fur but was glad to see her smiling, so he feigned utter innocence. “I have used no magic and have not seen Ember until now, so I cannot be at fault _at all!_ ”

Kari laughed louder at how wide his eyes were, how he put his hands to his chest and knew he was overacting; likely for her benefit, and couldn’t help but react to his antics. “She decided to attack the bubbly foam in my bath this morning,” Kari explained, watching Ember and Fenrir ran off, chasing one another through the sparring warriors in the practice rings. The pair nipped and growled at one another, and she thought back to a time, not long ago, when Ember would stay away from the male, wary of both him and his master.

The thought sobered her, and Kari glanced sideways at the prince. “I need to thank you, Loki, for looking after Ember,” she said hesitantly, her words carefully chosen. “From what I’ve been told, her wounds were…severe, and she needed a lot of care.” Meeting his eyes, though it was difficult, Kari said, “You didn’t have to.”

“ _Of course_ , I did!” he replied in surprise. “Kari, you would have done the same for Fenrir, would you not?”

Twisting her lips at being forced to admit it, she nodded. “You know I would have.”

“Then how could you think I would do any less?” he asked softly. “Yes, he is my son; but Ember is…an extension of you, simply in a different manner. Eir did not have the time to devote to her, because of your injuries, and given my experience with wolves…” Loki let the sentence hang.

In truth, he had not been certain the she-wolf would survive; her wounds had been grave, but he had made certain that had been downplayed to her. Loki had used a great deal of magic, herbs, spells, and poultices; Eir had helped, along with his mother and her magical abilities. Ember’s head wound had left her weak. Though she had never been fond of Loki nor Fenrir, she had been unable to move so Fenrir never left her side. Loki watched while she nodded and cleared her throat, clearly uneasy in the sudden silence. Before he could break it, the wolves came racing between them, followed by their group of friends to greet Kari.

 


	6. Chapter 6

“I saw you and Loki speaking earlier…?” Thor let the question hang between them, his voice hesitant at broaching the subject with her.

“I was thanking him for caring for Ember,” Kari replied, moving to sit in one of the chairs near the fire in his room.

The blond prince let out a heavy sigh. “Kari, you and my brother have a lot to talk about. That you both  _ need  _ to talk about.”

“I am not having this conversation, Thor,” she replied firmly.

“Kari, Loki sat with you, nearly the entire time you were in stasis,” Thor pressed, sitting in the chair next to her. “Food had to be brought to him, I had to force him to his chambers to sleep; even then, he spent that time caring for Ember. I’m not certain he slept at all. I don’t know precisely what was said or happened that night in the tavern, but I know enough…”

“ _ Enough _ !” she growled, pushing herself to her feet. “I’m _not_ discussing this, Thor.” Walking away from him, Kari ran her hands through her hair. “Perhaps I should just spend the night in my own chambers tonight.”

Thor took her arm when she walked by him, stopping her movement. He stood and brought his other hand up to brush her hair back from her face. “I do not mean to upset you, little one,” he soothed. “But I thought you should know; my brother is wracked with guilt over what happened to you.”

Kari said nothing; she already knew how Loki was feeling. She had heard every word the raven-haired prince had said to her when she was unconscious and healing. She could not admit that to Thor.  _ And what was there to say to Loki now about what had happened in the tavern? _ Kari wondered.

Shaking her head to herself, Kari’s voice was soft when she said, “I will deal with your brother in my own time, Thor. And I will not be bullied into speaking to him sooner.”

“I didn’t mean…” Thor was surprised at her response but nodded. “I am sorry, Kari. I was only trying to help.”

Nodding, she let out a relieved sigh that he seemed willing to drop the matter. “I know you mentioned going out, but I am simply too tired,” Kari yawned. “Don’t let me stop you from going, though. Ember and I will make ourselves comfortable here.”

“You’re certain?”

“Of course; there are enough reminders of you in this room, it’s comforting,” she assured. “Go, I’ll be fine until you return.” Kari watched him go. She curled up and read near the fire, with Ember laying on the lounge chair over her feet, until she fell asleep.

*****

Brushing Thunder, Kari smiled when the stallion buried his nose in her chest. It had been a stressful few weeks but she continued spending the nights with Thor. Finally cleared to participate in sparring practice, she was happy to move again, all the while Loki remained a dark shadow nearby. She had spent her time fighting mostly with Sif, finding it almost haunting to be facing any of the men at this point; no one argued with her.

Kari was expecting Thor to join her in the stables, so a sound behind her did not startle her; instead, she said, “I was beginning to think you were never going to arrive,” while she turned. When she saw Loki, she averted her eyes. “I was expecting your brother, we were going to go riding.”

He smiled slightly, though it was humourless. “He had arranged the same with me,” Loki admitted. “I believe Thor has grown weary of waiting for us to speak with one another.”

Shrugging her shoulders slightly, Kari struggled but finally met his eyes. “I’m not sure what there is to say, Loki,” she murmured, looking up at him.

Loki looked pained, rubbing a hand over his face. “Can we go for a ride, Kari? Please? I would like to talk.”

Licking her lips, she sighed. “Loki, I don’t know what there is to talk about,” she said softly, walking out of the stable, leading Thunder into a paddock then continued on foot to the gardens. She could hear Loki following her but ignored him until they were alone. When she finally turned, she said, “We both made our choices, Loki. Now, we live with them.”

“Kari, please,” Loki pleaded softly. “I wish I could have explained myself better that night, and kept you at the tavern…”

“But you didn’t,” she cut him off sharply. “You made that choice. Just like I made the choice to sacrifice myself to save two girls. The decisions were made; we cannot change them, Loki.” Kari stared at him as her eyes teared.

“I would if I could,” he said softly. “Kari, if I had any control over time with the Seidr, I would go back and change it.” Walking towards her slowly, he reached up to brush tears from her face, but she pulled away before he could. “There are many things I would change.”

Nodding, Kari met his eyes. “So would I,” she admitted.

“I know you’ve become more…comfortable with my brother,” Loki said gently, indicating how she had drawn away from him. “You used to be with me, as well. How can we get back to that, Kari?”

She tried to think; she missed him, the easy friendship and playful flirtation they used to have. “I wish there was an easy answer to give you, Loki,” she admitted, reaching up hesitantly to place a hand on the middle of his chest.

The sounds of Ember and Fenrir growling drew her attention. Kari looked over to see the pair chasing one another through the gardens, leaping over the maze walls to disappear. Turning, she followed them into the maze. With a quick glance back, Kari saw Loki was following at a short distance.

“I can’t even remember back to when I first started spending time with you and your brother,” she absently murmured, while she made her way to a bench near the fountain in the center of the maze.

“I seem to recall, it had something to do with simply joining all of us in practice, where you decided to challenge Fandral,” Loki replied after thinking for a moment. He chuckled at the memory, studying her face when he continued. “You left him bruised and bleeding that day, and you never left.”

Smiling at the memory, Kari laughed softly. “I think I surprised him.”

“You surprised all of us,” he corrected. “We knew your father had trained as a guard, but none of us expected he had been training you all those years!”

At the mention of her father, she grinned. “I pestered him, but I think he loved that I wanted to learn; with no sons to teach, we enjoyed our time together. And as for choosing Fandral… Well, he was just being so arrogant about my presence, it was just too obvious he was the one I had to put in his place! Oh, that was so many years ago, and I still enjoy beating him every time we spar.”

Loki laughed loudly, one hand to his stomach. “And you would think he would have learned his lesson by then; Sif had been fighting with us for several years.”

Her smile widened. “He’s arrogant, though not horribly so,” she added. Watching the smile still on his face, she sobered slightly. “I’ve missed this.”

Lowering his gaze, Loki nodded slightly. “As much as I hate that he interfered, I am glad Thor pushed,” he admitted. “I was afraid that if I came to you, you would run from me.”

“I thought about it,” Kari agreed softly. “Even today, just…walking away. But I was worried that if I walked away from you today, that you would take it as final.”

Reaching out his hand, Loki left it out, palm up, saying, “I would have waited years, if it took that, Kari. Things have been…uneasy between us, but at least you have been here. If you had left, I’m not certain I could have borne the guilt of your fleeing my presence.”

“I wouldn’t have been running just from you,” she said softly, finally reaching out and putting her hand in his own. “Let’s be honest, Loki; this isn’t just about what happened in the tavern. You and your brother, all of our friends; you  _ all  _ saw me in that cabin.” Staring down at their hands, she intertwined their fingers lightly and let out a long breath. “You all know what they did to me. It’s not easy to face everyone now.”

“We  _ also  _ saw what you did to those men,” Loki reminded her. “Kari, you are still one of the fiercest fighters I’ve ever known. If I can wager as to what happened; you were unarmed, outnumbered, and needed to bide your time until you had some kind of advantage. My guess? You shut down your mind to what was happening until one of them made a mistake and let you have access to a weapon; it would be all you would need. However, until that time, you needed to conserve your strength, so that you could fight when you needed to; when you knew, you could win.”

A small smile crept over her face, Kari’s eyes darting a glance up to see him watching her closely. “You sound so certain.”

“I like to think I’ve seen you strategize your way through a fight often enough,” he replied, stroking his thumb over her knuckles.

She gave a small laugh, thinking back to all the battles she had fought with the brothers and their friends, and could not help but agree. “You might have been right there.”

Soft footsteps at the edge of the garden maze drew their attention; Kari looked over to see Thor approaching, his eyes on their entwined fingers.

The wolves ran to greet him while a small smile spread over his face. “I see my scheming worked with some effect,” Thor commented lightly.

Kari narrowed her eyes at him, even as she smiled. “We’ve had the chance to talk,” she admitted. “You have your bag… Are you leaving?”

Thor grimaced slightly as he set down his pack. “Father is sending us out on a diplomatic mission.”

“Sif and the Warriors Three are going with you, I take it?” she asked. When he nodded, she let out a sigh. Kari knew if she had been back to her full strength, she would have been sent along on the mission as well. Then, a thought occurred to her. “Wait, shouldn’t Loki be accompanying you?”

“I believe Mother had something to do with that,” Thor replied carefully.

Kari watched the brothers share a look over her head, the dark-haired prince stood behind her, and her confusion deepened. “I don’t understand…?”

“I believe her thoughts were that having all of your friends leave you at once were not in your best interests,” Loki suggested gently while Kari turned to look at him.

“You weren’t even there, how could you know that?”

“Because he knows Mother,” Thor replied.

Blushing, she nodded softly. “I suppose she’s right; as usual.”

Reaching out for her hand, Thor said, “Walk with me a moment, little one.” Leading her slightly away, he continued with, “I know you have become accustomed to staying with me at night. Will you be alright alone?”

“The nightmares are nearly gone,” she reminded him, staring off to the side. “Ember is here, and thanks to your meddling today, your brother and I are talking. So, I’m not alone. I promise I’ll be fine.”

Bending, he pressed his lips to her forehead. “I will keep things as short as I can, Kari,” Thor promised.

“Do whatever you need to do, Thor,” she counseled. She watched him leave, letting out a long breath, before feeling Loki coming up behind her.

Laying a gentle hand on her shoulder, his voice was soft. “Kari, I know you’ve been spending the night with my brother…”

Pulling away, she spun to look at him, her eyes wide as she felt her face burn in embarrassment. “How did you know that?”

Brushing the backs of his fingers down her cheek, Loki smiled. “My room is next door, Kari,” he reminded. “And I know it has been just to sleep; that you’ve been having nightmares. You’ve no need to be worried, aside from Mother, no one else knows.”

“You heard me? When I’d scream?” she asked in horror, closing her eyes.

He worried of his welcome, but pulled her in against him, pressing a kiss against the top of her head. “I understood why you sought out comfort, Kari,” he soothed. “And you and Thor have always been close. Even though you lied to him just now…”

Kari stiffened in his arms but stayed where she could hide her face. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“You knew he had to leave, Kari, and you didn’t want him to worry; but you’re nervous about him being gone, and how you will sleep tonight.” Loki kept his voice steady and calm while he stroked her hair. But could feel the tension in her body; knew he was right in his assumptions. “I know things are still…difficult between us. If you do not wish to spend the night alone just yet, I can sleep near the fire in my room with the wolves, and you can sleep in my bed.”

“I couldn’t kick you out of your own bed, Loki,” she murmured, drawing back from him so that she could see his face.

Smiling at her gently, Loki tapped her nose playfully. “Kari, I slept next to Ember when she was healing, and we sleep in much less comfortable places than on furs in front of a fire when we are out in the forest,” he reminded. Glancing up at where the sun was starting to set, he offered his arm. “Now come, dinner should be ready soon.”

Though she had yet to join everyone in the main hall, Kari had been dining with their friends in their own common-lounge room. Since it was only Loki and herself, they sat in the chairs near the fire to eat, the wolves near the open windows, passed out on their sides.

 


	7. Chapter 7

Kari, dressed in a silken nightgown, stood in the door to her balcony staring outside. It was hours after dinner. She had bathed, read, and tried to sleep without success; her heart was hammering in her chest every time she closed her eyes. Loki’s offer lingered in her mind.

Wrapping in a long, fur-lined robe, she shivered and wrapped her arms around herself as she stood at the door and contemplated for several minutes. Ember sat, staring at her expectantly. “You already know what I should be doing, don’t you?” Kari asked, finally opening the door, watching as the wolf bounded down the hallway.

By the time she reached his room, Loki was opening the door to Ember’s insistent scratches with a frown. He glanced up to see Kari hesitantly walking down the hallway towards him. A gentle smile crossed his face, and he ushered her inside. “I’ll sleep by the fire,” he assured.

“I can’t… I’m not quite ready to go to sleep,” she clarified softly, rubbing one hand over her other arm.

Loki studied her face closely, before nodding. “Did you want to read? A glass of wine, perhaps?”

“A small glass, please,” she agreed. Kari sat on a chaise near the fire, taking off her robe, wrapping a light blanket over her lap instead even though she shivered with her arms exposed. She took the glass from him while he came to join her, a glass of his own in his hand. “I wanted to thank you, again, for saving Ember.”

“You already have,” Loki assured. He glanced over to see the wolves curled up, Fenrir’s head on Ember’s side as they lay just off to the side of the hearth, the sight making him grin.

Taking a sip of her wine, Kari stared down at her glass. She debated her next words carefully. “I have a confession, Loki,” she said softly. “I…heard you, when I was in stasis and healing. I just…I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to tell you, it’s just... I just didn’t know what to say to you…”

“You don’t have to apologize, Kari,” he assured, reaching out to press his fingers to her lips, silencing her. Offering a gentle smile, Loki shook his head and dropped his hand. “My words were truly more for my own conscience than they were for you; I was not expecting you to hear me at all. I was going to offer you a true apology, once you were more comfortable with me; you have no idea how truly sorry I am for my actions that night in the tavern, Kari. Nor the fact that I did not follow you afterward. I handled it all so very badly.”

“I didn’t listen to your words, either,” Kari admitted, a rueful smile on her face. “I took what you said as a rejection of me and my body. I was furious, and my judgement was clouded by alcohol and emotions.”

“Which you had every right to be,” Loki said softly. “I handled the situation poorly.”

Shifting closer, it was Kari’s turn to place her hand on his lips. “Let’s just agree we both could have handled it better, shall we?”

Smiling under her fingers, Loki took her wrist and kissed her palm before he nodded. “All right, agreed.”

Kari shifted until she lay against his side, smiling as he wrapped an arm around her. “I miss you calling me little one,” she said softly. “I’ve missed being able to just walk up to you and wrapping an arm around you.”

“I wasn’t sure of my welcome,” Loki murmured, pressing his lips to her forehead.

“No, I know,” she rushed to assure him. “And I didn’t  _ exactly  _ encourage you. Thank you for letting this go at my pace…with the exception of Thor, of course.” Kari felt him chuckle under her back. Setting her glass aside, she stretched out, lying across his legs, her head on the armrest on his other side.

Grinning, Loki began to play with her hair as she made herself comfortable. She took his other hand and entwined their fingers over her stomach, snuggling in with a contented sigh. He watched as Kari settled, her eyes slowly drifting closed as her body relaxed enough to let herself fall asleep.

A book sat within reach, but Loki ignored it, staring into the flames as he continued to comb through her hair. The room was peacefully silent and still for two hours before Kari jumped against his legs. Looking down, he watched her grimace, a hard shudder running through her body as she tried to curl away from him while she whimpered. “Kari,” Loki prompted, stroking her face. When that failed to wake her, he kept one hand on her face and loosened the other that had been holding her hand, taking hold of her shoulder. “Sweetling? Wake up, you’re dreaming,” he insisted when she thrashed against him.

His grip on her shoulder woke Kari with a start, and she struggled against him; her hands coming up to beat against his chest as she cried out. It took her only a few seconds to realize he was taking her hits, not retaliating, and she heard the wolves whining where they lay nearby.

Blinking, Kari saw Loki’s face near to her own; his expression was soft. Now that she was fully awake, he released his hands from her arms and let her sit freely in his lap. Swallowing hard, her breath shook as she felt tears fall while she whispered, “I’m sorry.”

“No, little one; no apologies,” he replied, pulling her against his chest. He felt her sobbing softly and shushed her as she wrapped her arms around him, clinging.

Kari quieted slowly, resting her forehead against his neck. “I feel so weak from what I used to be,” she whispered, shifting in his lap until she was sitting sideways.

“Weak is never a word I would attribute to you,” Loki assured. “You’re healing, and that takes time.” When Kari snorted, he chuckled. “I know you are not overly patient, but I promise, the nightmares will end.”

Nuzzling his neck gently, she brought a hand up to trace one finger along his chin and down his throat. She felt him grow very still beneath her, the hand that had been stroking her back stopped as well. Licking her lips, she pressed a soft kiss against his pulse, before daring a glance up; he was staring down at her.

“Sweetling…” Loki started, his voice hoarse.

Pressing another kiss, she lay her forehead against his neck and let out a long breath. “If you don’t want to, I’ll understand.”

Loki touched her chin and pulled her gaze back up, he shook his head gently. “You’ve been through so much, Kari. I just want to know that you’re certain,” he said firmly.

“It’s always been you, Loki,” she replied steadily. “I can’t settle, I can’t close my eyes without seeing…everything that happened in that cabin. I know I can’t forget, but I want to have something else to see when I close my eyes. And since the first moment, I saw you… It’s always been you. But, if you don’t want to, if you’re not interested, you don’t have to.”

Placing a soft kiss on her lips, he smiled, reaching up to cup her cheek. “I wasn’t saying  _ no _ , little one,” he assured. “Your skin is cold; what do you say I run us a bath?”

“If you’ll take me in with you, yes,” she murmured.

Loki recognised her need not to be left alone and scooped her into his arms, carrying her with him. Setting her gently on a counter to sit, he set the water to run, adding oils of various kinds and adjusted the temperature. He turned back to see her watching his every move.

Pulling Kari to her feet, Loki turned her towards the mirror and brushed her hair. He loosely braided and twisted it on top of her head. She smiled gently at his reflection, saying, “I could have done that.”

“I know,” he agreed easily and grinned back. Bending, he kept her gaze, and placed kisses along her neck while his hands reached down to her hips. Slowly, his fingers gathered the silk of her nightgown, the hem raised until he held it firmly in his hands.

Kari continued to meet his eyes, though she blushed slightly; Loki had seen and explored her body once before, though she now had some new scars. He lay his hands flat on her skin, running them up her sides as he continued to pull the gown up and over her body; he tossed the silk to the floor.

Her skin felt icy; Loki knew it was partially nerves as he ran his hands down her arms. Turning her towards the bath, he held her hand and urged her to get in. “Give me just a moment, little one. The balcony door is still open, and it would not do to have you catch a chill when we emerge.”

She nodded, though knew it was a flimsy excuse; he could have used magic to close it even from here, making Kari wonder what he was doing. He returned within just a few moments, wrapped in his own robe.

Loki dropped the garment and stepped into the steaming water. Opening his arms, he let out a contented sigh as she shifted to cuddle into his arms, turned sideways so she could wrap an arm around his waist.

Kari reached her other hand up, turning his face towards her. She could tell from the look on his face that he was going to leave things up to her; she nipped his chin, then kissed him softly. Kari pressed her lips gently against Loki’s before her tongue sought entrance to his mouth with a moan. She gripped his hair, feeling the smile on his lips, their tongues dueled.


	8. Chapter 8

Their kisses intensified until Kari needed more. Shifting until she straddled his waist, she buried her fingers into his hair, mewling sounds coming from her chest as she sucked his tongue into her mouth. His hands ran up her sides, the oil he had added to the bath making their skin slick. Kari took one of Loki’s hands and lead it to her breast, closing his fingers around her flesh as her hips rubbed forward against his erection.

Groaning softly, Loki slowly ran his other hand down her side and guided her hip as she continued to undulate against him. Her lips broke away to gasp for air, allowing him to kiss and suckle down her neck. His fingers pinched her nipple, tugging on it until her back arched. His touch made her cry out, pulling on his hair.

Kari glanced down when his grip eased, narrowing her eyes. “Don’t you dare stop,” she growled, leaning down to nip his ear.

“As my lady commands,” he replied, lifting her breast from the water so he could suckle and nibble at the aching tip. Her back arched, gave him better access, and Loki brought his hand from her hip to slide between her curls, stroking her lower lips gently.

She jumped when his fingers slid over her nub, already peeked out from its hood from her arousal and the hot water of the tub. Kari shivered deliciously as he continued to stroke her, his other arm wrapped around her waist to hoist her up higher. The move made it so her other breast was above the water so he could suckle there as well.

Kari reached a hand down between them, tentatively grasped him, and felt a shudder ripple through his body beneath her. She licked her lips, stroked him slowly and gathered her courage to speak, asking him for what she wanted. “I want your fingers in me,” she whispered, tightening her own hand on him. “Like you did that night in the tavern.”

He felt her tip her hips forward, and as Loki kept his thumb stroking her, his fingers traced farther back, circling around her, before he dipped one inside. He heard her take a quick breath; kissing up her chest, he asked, “Are you alright, sweetling?”

Nodding, Kari pressed down onto his fingers, closing her eyes for a moment while she bit her lip, before she looked back at him. “With the oils in the water…it doesn’t hurt,” she assured. Feeling him brush farther inside, he touched a certain spot and her hips bucked, forcing the arm around her to tighten as she cried out softly in surprise. “W-what was that?”

Loki felt her shudder and her hands both came to grip his shoulders, nails digging in. He grinned and kissed her, slowly sliding a second finger inside her and fluttered both digits deep inside her body as she moaned in his arms. “That, sweetling, is going to bring you a great deal of pleasure,” he replied in a husky tone.

Kari’s hips found a rhythm with his fingers, the arm at her hips guided her and helped her keep balance as she sped up. Resting her forehead against his, Kari’s breaths were short and quick, her hips’ rhythm faltered as the first ripple of pleasure washed over her. “Loki!” she whispered harshly.

His fingers continued to work within her as she clenched around him. Loki’s arm came up to brace her when she came, screaming his name again; he kept her from submerging backward under the water when she arched.

Pulling her up against his chest, Loki stroked her skin gently; he shushed her as Kari gasped and shivered. “Breathe, little one,” he murmured.

Her thighs clenched around his hips, and Kari could feel him still hard, pressed between them as she fought to breathe. Sitting up, she kissed him gently, whispering, “Take me to bed, Loki.”

He wrapped his arms around her hips, holding her effortlessly as he stood. Loki nuzzled her neck and chest as he walked, dripping water through his chambers, pausing at the edge of the bed to reach up with one hand to let out her hair, the dark locks cascading down her back before he toppled them over onto the mattress. “Tell me what you want, Kari,” he murmured, hovering above her. His own body shuddered with the need to bury inside her, but he refused to rush the experience for her.

“You,” she replied, stroking a hand down her cheek. Her body still pulsed from the pleasure he had given her, and though part of her was nervous, she trusted him implicitly. Their bodies were slick with oil as she reached down to grasp him again, feeling him throbbing. Hugging his hips with her knees, she guided him as her other hand gripped his hair.

Loki studied her face as he slowly entered her body, heard her breath catch when her body tensed slightly; he knew she was remembering the pain of the cabin. Bending, he nuzzled her cheek, murmured, “Easy, sweetling. Remember to breathe, and that you need only tell me to stop.”

Kari felt his body thrust slowly, in small amounts, easing her into accepting him. She gripped his hips, encouraged him as he fully submerged, her own hips rising to greet his body. “Don’t you dare stop,” she growled. There was no pain; and Loki was being very careful with her body, almost agonizingly gentle.

He set a steady rhythm, his body grazed across her clit, his chest rubbed tantalizingly against her breasts. Loki smiled at the wanton sounds drawn from her chest as he kissed her deeply, her legs wrapping around his waist to pull him in deeper as she raised her hips with him. The angle changed how he stroked inside her, and when she groaned, Loki undulated against her, feeling her clench tightly, trying to keep him inside.

She knew he had found that spot again, and Kari scratched at his back, breaking away from his lips as she gasped. Loki suckled on her neck and finally began to thrust harder; she knew from the trembling of his own body he had to be near his own breaking point. Kissing his shoulder, her orgasm broke suddenly, making Kari bite him hard enough to draw blood.

It was Loki’s turn to cry out her name in surprise; he knew she had drawn blood. He thrust harder a few more times, her own tightness brought his release easily. Finding her lips, he tasted his own blood as he rolled them, slipped from her body and held her to his chest. Using Seidr magic, he dried the sheets of the bathwater, reaching up to stroke her face. He studied her, smiling to see her eyes glazed in pleasure. “Are you alright, sweetling?”

“Exhausted. Shivery. But good,” she panted, bringing up a hand to stroke along his chest. She felt the bite and blood, and her eyes went wide. Kari turned her head to look, saw the wound and turned back to him with a shocked expression as she exclaimed, “I’m so sorry! I didn’t realize I bit that hard…”

Grinning, Loki shook his head. “I wasn’t complaining, Kari,” he assured. “Feel free to bite me anytime you wish.” The remark made her blush, but before she could bury her face and hide it, he cupped her cheek and asked, “Are you truly alright, little one?”

“I’m wonderful,” she assured. She shifted down to lay on his left side, cuddled against his chest, and felt his heart beating steadily under her cheek. He pulled a blanket up to cover them as she idly drew on his chest, lost in thought.

He noticed her suddenly serious manner, and asked, “What is it?”

“What did you do, with the bodies, after your brother brought me back here?” she asked softly.

Loki startled slightly, not having expected the conversation to veer in this direction. “We left them for scavengers. We agreed they didn’t deserve the honour of being burned,” he replied carefully, stroking her back.

Kari nodded and thought carefully about what he had said before she looked up at him. “I was just thinking; when the others come back, I want you to take me to the cabin,” she explained, her voice soft.

He looked down at her in surprise. “Are you certain, Kari? You need never go there again.”

“I know. I just… I think I need to see it, now that I’m whole again. Just to get it out of my system. Then I can be done with it forever.”

Nodding, Loki kissed her forehead. “If that’s what you want, then when everyone returns, we can go.”

With a glance around suddenly, Kari frowned. “Where are the wolves?”

Chuckling, Loki tapped her nose. “Where did you think I went when you got into the bath?” When her eyes widened, he shook his head at her. “I didn’t think you’d want an audience when we emerged.”

“I… I hadn’t even thought of it,” she admitted.

“I know. But, I wasn’t certain how you would react, and did not want either of them to be concerned, so I sent them to the kitchens for food.”

Kari yawned and chuckled, then snuggled in against him. She was half-asleep, when she whispered, “You’ve always taken care of me, Loki. It’s why I love you.”

 


	9. Chapter 9

The entourage was gone for four days. In that time, Kari learned to enjoy her body and Loki’s. She still had nightmares, though they had waned dramatically, and when she woke with them now, it was Loki’s kisses that soothed her back to sleep.

Upon his return, when Thor asked where his brother was, he was directed to one of the horse pastures. There, he found the pair sitting in the grass, their horses grazing nearby as the wolves ran around chasing one another. Kari sat in Loki’s lap, the pair talking in hushed tones. The golden-haired prince smiled as he watched the pair kiss gently.

“Are you planning on just spying on us, Thor?” Kari asked softly, turning to meet his gaze while she lounged in Loki’s arms.

“It’s just nice to see you smiling again, little one,” he replied easily.

“I have a favour to ask of you.”

Thor noticed his brother’s frown behind her back but nodded. “Anything, Kari.”

“When you and the others are rested, I want to go back to the cabin,” she explained.

Loki met Thor’s eyes, saw the surprise there, and shook his head slightly in response. Though he understood her need to close the chapter on her life, Loki was concerned about how she would react seeing it again.

Thor nodded slightly. “Let me gather the others, and we can leave within the hour,” he assured gently.

Nodding, Kari pushed to her feet and turned to pull Loki and kept his hand. “I’ll go change and meet you at the stables.”

Thor watched her kiss his brother, then head back to her chambers. Without turning, the blond asked his brother, “Is this a good idea?”

“I don’t know,” Loki admitted, grimacing. “But she needs to do it. So, we’ll be there for her, as we always are.”

Thor smiled and looked at him with a nod. “Very true. I’ll gather the others.”

*****

Kari slowed Thunder as the last bend in the pathway neared and pulled him to a stop. She heard Fenrir growl; she knew the wolf recognized where they were. Ember, though the she-wolf had never been there, had her hackles raised, and Kari suspected that either the wolves had communicated, or she was feeding off of Fenrir’s reaction. With her heart beating heavily in her chest, Kari studied the area, since she had not truly had the opportunity the last time while the others waited patiently around her. She took several long, deep breaths to steady her nerves.

“We can turn back, Kari,” Sif offered. She could see the other woman struggling.

“Even if you feel the need to do this, there’s no need to do it today,” Thor reminded her.

“I know,” she agreed. Kari glanced at them, both on her right, Loki on her left. 

He reached out and offered to take one of her hands. She grasped his hand, squeezing it gently, swallowed hard as she glanced at him. The rest of the group waited patiently; the decision was entirely hers. She took back her hand and urged Thunder slowly forward.

The cabin came into sight, exactly as she remembered. Kari stopped at a small patch of grass and dismounted, leaving Thunder to graze. The sight of the dilapidated building forced a hard shiver through her body. When Loki came to take her hand again, she gripped it tightly as she walked forward silently.

The door was gone from when the brothers had broken it down, and Kari stood in the frame, glancing around hesitantly. The bodies were gone, only a few bones remained; predators had picked them clean. The bloodstains were nearly invisible on the wood floors and tables, the dirt hid everything, only traces could be seen on the stone hearth.

Kari wasn’t aware she was trembling until she felt Loki’s arm around her waist; he supported her, murmuring, “Breathe, sweetling.”

She swallowed and nodded, letting out a deep breath. The stench of death and blood was even gone; it had returned to being just another building in every way, except her mind. The nightmares had truly left this place, Kari realised. There was nothing left here to haunt her, she really had killed everything. A long sigh escaped her lips as she stood steadily. Kari felt herself nodding again.

“What is it, Kari?” Sif asked, watching her closely.

“It can be burned now,” Kari replied, meeting her eyes. “If for nothing else, than to make certain no one else can use it as a place to torture another while hidden. I’ve seen what I needed to see; the nightmares are gone from here.”

Pressing a kiss to her temple, Loki nodded. “Good.  _ Now _ , can we go home?”

Kari met his eyes with a small smile and kissed him. “We can go home,” she agreed.

The group made their way outside, and with the help of the Seidr, Loki burned the cabin to the ground.

*****

Kari collapsed onto Loki’s chest, but he sat up suddenly, holding her in his lap, still buried deep within her. Squeaking in surprise at the sudden move, she laughed at her own response, before kissing him deeply. She pulled back to stroke his chest and whisper, “You, my darling, are spoiling me.”

“You said something, the first night we were together, just as you were falling asleep,” Loki replied, watching as her eyes widened only slightly.

“I didn’t think you heard me,” she replied softly.

Loki grinned, running the backs of his knuckles along her cheek. “I was waiting to see if you would bring it up again.”

Kari smiled, blushing softly. “I told you Loki, it’s always been you.”

Kissing her gently, Loki licked along her lips to gain entrance to her mouth so he could kiss her thoroughly before he drew back. “I love you too, sweetling,” he replied against her lips.

With a smile, Kari lay back on the bed and pulled him down with her. She ended up laying beneath him and wrapped her legs around his hips as he thrust deeply inside of her. “Took you long enough,” she growled at him.

“I suppose I should make up for lost time, then, hmm?” he asked, bending to lick her nipple. She cried out and clenched around his body as he thrust. “I’ll take that as a yes,” Loki chuckled.

  
  



End file.
